{change} it is hard to admit to yourself that you have a compulsion. after all, we are our own masters, right? so how did i get this out of control? on some other admittance: i am bored at work. yes, some days are harder than others--for the volume of tasks to be done and not for the difficulty of them. i've been avoiding the thought of going back to school. i'd rather not rack up some swoon-worthy bill again, but if i do, i will know what to do differently. i just, you know, don't know what useful fucking thing i would study. speaking of swooning, we finalized our itinerary for the wedding. i dread crowds, but all eyes will be transfixed on the bride & bridegroom--i look forward to it. i haven't been to a wedding in recent history that wasn't my own. with a flask, i should be ready for whatever. (even spying on those mythical demonic gatherings at the river.)

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