{skip tracer} i finally wrote to natalie. god, i am the worst friend anyone could ever hope for. i promised a phone call tomorrow. in the spirit of breaking my agoraphobia, i went to an open house for volunteering at the local animal clinic. i have never felt so confined. nor can i think of a person who would happily vouch for those three c's. i'll figure it out. i cut my hand on a mandolin (cutting implement, not the musical instrument). it scared the shit out of me! the last time i felt such fearful adrenaline was as a child, anxious waiting for our father to find and beat us. neither hurts until after you wake up. my husband says i get a cupcake for applying for a job i actually want: skip tracer. if i get it, then i'm going to enlist in a martial art--wing chun? aikido? hard to say. i look at some of my friends facebook photos, and am simply overwhelmed by how, what's the word? generic? cliched? they are. i defy them to divine me.

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