{a lot}

i wrote an entry last night, but fat cat deleted it. fat cat lets us use the desk, but if we don't pay enough love to him while using it, he invariably makes us pay some other way.

forty hours in four days. i feel as if i'm salaried all over again! but it's better because I ACTUALLY GET PAID FOR WHAT I WORK.

on my second day started a two day store tour from the area manager (or whatever the fuck this company calls it). i listened to closed-door conversations as if they concerned me, as if she were asking me, waiting for my thoughts, my questions.

i wouldn't have given excuses.

i wanted an hourly position so that i could escape that ever-increasing load of responsibility. i've escaped, but now i envy those who carry that weight.

i slept 12+ hours. i woke disoriented and with dried tear streaks on my cheeks.

i want too much and i don't know what i can bear to do without: helping puppies and kitties? learning more about sustainable urban living? ensuring husband has healthy, delicious meals all week? blowing away my bosses with my fearfully excellent job performance? being a part of my mom's life?

i refuse to leave anything out.

i want sushi for dinner. (or is it lunch?)