{old town glendale} after fucking over a string of friends in my self-centered way, i began to tell myself that i was awkward, unlikeable. i examine that supposition now and think it was merely a pretense to not get to know folks and, thereby, to not fuck them over. that i recognize my own flimsy lie, i--tentatively--feel that i might be able to choose not to fuck over those that i know. i wonder, though, what i could gain through dismantling my own subterfuge. semantics! self-defeating, self-satisfied semantics! all this inspired by a neighborly invitation.

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