{a theory on the soul}

if the amount i bemoan my work is any indicator, i think about work too much. a vestige of more control and responsibility, for which i traded a subservient independence. its a strange limbo.

it worries me that i've learned so thoroughly how not to express myself. nod & follow along. i suppose i don't want to be found disagreeable? i don't remember ever caring.

in fact, people think i'm nice. past behavior is (supposed to be) a strong indicator of future behavior: i would surprise everyone with an outburst of amoral action. i'll wear my niceness until it's irrelevant.

i recently binged on brandon sanderson's mistborn trilogy. yesterday i started season 2 of darker than black. what's the deal with the unexpected event triggering some inherent power? moreover, the triggering events seem to exclusively be traumatic. why must everything boil down to psychology?