the seventies look silly (as portrayed by now). not the hair, clothes, etc (now can look sillier)--no, it's the transparency of want. similar to watching a foreign language film sans subtitles.

i hate knowing what other johnnies are doing. i'll only measure myself by their achievements. i thought the Right Choice would manifest itself sometime between freshmen year & graduation. i am a coward: i wait & want knowing-not-what & wait. i could abide myself better if i weren't an arrogant, must-have-an-opinion-on-everything cunt. i commit the same stupidities ad nauseum because i am too cowardly to change.

i think i'll read another book.