{citizen} sans spouse, it was unnerving to be in a bar--albeit a user-friendly dive bar two blocks from our place. ordering a beer, starting it quickly but prolonging the last quarter eased my social obtuseness. ostensibly a send off for a coworker, it seemed a thin excuse for everyone to drink. for the first time in memory, husband & i cleaned my car. fucking four years together without a single wash, vacuum, or wipe down: sad achievement. we took it to one of those self-serve places; i sweated like a pig for my catharsis, as he splashed about for some good ol' innocent fun. my favorite coffee shop: permanently shuttered. i am being punished for my quixotic measure of "good". we trudged on over to another conveniently located coffee shop. ultimately the music playing was so tasteless it was offensive & we quickly packed it in. fucking assholes. i am working very hard on ignoring what i should be doing. i am mildly successful.

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