how awkward when a still from my past, rarified & entombed in a living being, returns. beautiful bits admired, worst camouflaged in quaint idiosyncrasies. utter chaos: upheaval of, "the seeds of the past bear fruit in the present." where are you my gorgeous, linear life?

less opaque: we were given a betta, which we have enthroned in the bathroom. pervy cat is afraid of the fish. so afraid that she won't watch me while i shower. so afraid that she won't come near the bathroom anymore. i suppose she's unused to the distortion made by the rounded fish bowl--trick of the light (or science of the focal point, whichever). alas! i never thought i'd see a predator petrified of prey.

conceited. self-centered. egotistical. schmucky. me.

our hamster neighbors flew off to florida. on their last day amid the desert, husband & i distracted the child while the mother did last bits of whatever-ing & the husband shuttled his mother home as she shoveled cake into her cake-hole. we violently swayed to "european vegas" & blasted about the yard. occasionally, i can appreciate a (read "one") child.

we've began a ban list of abused words: literally; amazing; fantastic; cute; really; incredible; you-know. yah, i know you know. no know.