{minimalism v materialism}

i'd prefer to throw (almost) everything away. i don't end up throwing anything away: i'm afraid i will want it sometime in the amorphous, indefinite future.

when i sneeze, kitten looks directly at me while making "bird noises" (the noises she makes when she sees a bird). i don't know what to make of this.

i should reframe that: i'm afraid to get rid of clothes. i open my closet & shudder as i pass over items i haven't worn in years & have no intention of wearing for years to come. others, i hope to have the occasion to wear, others still i keep, testaments to memory.

further re-framing: i fear getting rid of books. when i sit, silently eating breakfast while assessing the flow of colors on the shelf, i want to be rid of them all! i disgust myself. could i buy a kindle (or the like) & get most of these works for free? probably. will i? probably not.

fuck, fuck, fuck.